Modish

The gift of competition, and how I learned the hard way

I'm gonna tell you a little story about competition and resentment, something I've never shared out on the interwebs before because it's kind of a touchy subject, but... here goes!

When I started Modish, almost 6 years ago now, I had a real issue with what I then deemed my "bloggy nemesis". Someone else started a very similar blog to mine (at the time) very soon after I did, and it seemed like every move I made from then on- every new addition or change of focus or new idea for expansion I would try- she would do the exact same thing 2 months later, without fail.

It felt like she was constantly nipping at my heels and I just could. not. let. it. go. because, well, it was INFURIATING! APPALLING! ANNOYING AS SHIT!

After a few years of dealing with the same person "doing this to me" over and over again- a person that, mind you, I had never met, never spoken to, never even communicated with really- I became so consumed in my resentment toward her for "copying me", for stealing MY ideas, for taking credit that was due to ME, for edging in on MY community of people and MY niche- on stealing MY thunder!

And then I read A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle (I wrote about this exact subject a few years back after I first read his book) and there was a particular passage in it that shouted at me and made me realize- all of that "MY MY ME ME" stuff was really just my ego getting in my own damn way.

Imagine that.

Our ego is the part of us that wants to be seen. To be recognized, acknowledged and appreciated. The ego is that part of us that wants to be FIRST! BEST! ONLY!

So when we start to compare ourselves to others, or get caught up in competition or rivalry, it's our ego that feels the affront. And it tries to combat that "affront" by arming us with feelings of resentment, envy, scorn, hatred, powerlessness, diminishment. Our ego wants us to fight! To claim our territory!

But in reality, the only person I had been fighting with the whole time, was myself. The person who was receiving the most hurt and pain from these horrible, negative emotions, was myself. The only person who I was stopping from doing anything or keeping stuck, was myself!

We can create our own misery simply by comparing ourselves to others.

When we try to keep score, keep up, get ahead, one up, be the best, be SEEN- we tend to focus all our energies on what our competition is doing, rather than on what we want for ourselves. We tend to lose sight of our own priorities and talents and direction and get derailed, ending up stuck in the muck and mire of our own negativity.

Now, looking back on that time as I was facing my "nemesis", I honestly feel grateful for it because it spurred me on the path of finding my truest, most authentic way to present myself in this big ol' world.

Competition itself is not the issue. It will always be there- in business, in relationships, in life. There will always be people around you who would rather duplicate, than originate, someone 10 steps ahead or nipping at your heels.

But they aren't the problem. They will be forced to either fall off the wayside or find their own paths eventually, too... It's how you perceive your competition, how you react to it, that changes how it affects your life.

From my experience, I've learned that competition doesn't have to be an obstacle, it can actually be an absolute GIFT.

Competition is a spur for growth and an opportunity for change.

Competition helps you narrow-down, focus-in, refine.

Competition makes you strive, innovate and unleash your best efforts.

Competition helps you understand and uncover what is truly most unique about what you have to offer.

Competition strips superficiality and half-heartedness away, and sinks you down into your truest depths until you discover that what you're putting out there is so uniquely and authentically you, that you have no real competition after all.

It can truly be a gift, if you just let yourself see it that way.

Have you let feelings of resentment or envy towards competition hinder you in the past? How are you going to shift your perspective and stop comparing yourself to others to be able to move forward and grow?

Registration for The Catalytst is on now! Yippee!

Resisting change?

I have made a lot of big changes in my life over the years- from quitting a fantastic job surrounded by even more fantastic people in order to work for myself, to deciding to leave the comfort of the town I was born and raised and educated in for a new life in an entirely different place, to even my recent change with this blog, shifting from talking about other people's work and lives into talking about my life and the things that truly matter most to me.

But with each and every change, I faced resistance. An inner push and pull that had me questioning every choice I wanted to make. And I think we all face a certain level of resistance when it comes to making big changes in our lives, because we tend to think that staying right where we are, even if we know we're not happy there, is less risky and seems less painful than the thought of making a change.

That's why change requires a leap of faith. You will never know for sure what the new job, new town, new relationship, or even something as simple as a new exercise routine will feel like, until you do it. There's no proof or evidence. No crystal ball you can look into to see exactly where this change will take you.

So instead, we resist. We stay put, where we think we're safe. We rationalize ourselves out of making a change, because the reality of it is, change is fucking scary.

So how do you break through the walls of the resistance you're creating within yourself?

Here's how I was able to break through the things that were holding me back from making some of the most important and best changes in my life:

• with support: A large part of our resistance can come from not wanting to lose or strain the connections we have with people that are part of our "old ways"- so you need to make new connections related to the change you want to create. Find connections in the new town you want to move to, join meetups and events related to the new job you want, invite girls from your yoga class to tea afterward if you want to have more health-conscious people in your life. Find and use your support system. If the people closest to you aren't supportive of the changes you want to make, it's important to find people who are. From real life communities to online ones, there are people out there who understand where you're coming from, and what you want out of life.
  
  
• with role models: Akin to support, but in a more aspirational way, it's so much easier to break through our resistance if we have a role model for that change. Someone who has been there, done that, made the same change you're looking to make and was the better for it. Whether it's a friend, a group you belong to, a blog you love to read- seeing other people create changes in their lives is encouraging and motivating for you to create your own.
  
  
• with time: Change takes time, and resistance takes time to whittle away. That's why sudden, unexpected changes often throw our whole worlds out of whack- but even a sudden change becomes your new normal, eventually. We are highly adaptable creatures, us humans, and when we're thrown into new life situations, we work it out. The pains and struggles that happen during your transition through a change, will fade away with time.
  
  
• with a shift in perspective: When we focus on all the obstacles in our way for change- that's all we can see and our vision becomes obscured with that wall of resistance. But if we can envision a peek over that wall, into what our life would be like after the change, and instead focus on all the benefits that this change would make in your life in truly fulfilling ways, then it becomes easier to imagine that the difficulties you may face during the transition will be well worth it in the end.
  
  
• by finding success, even in failure: If it's fear of failure holding you back, remember- even if you make a big change and it doesn't work out as you had hoped, or planned- you made a big change! Which means, you can do it again more easily the next time, and that is a success in itself. And in "failure", disappointment, rejection or frustration, we learn more about ourselves and what we really want out of our life, than we would if everything just came easily to us all the time. That knowledge and growth brings you closer to your true self, and to me, that's the best success of all. 

Change can happen, for real! The dreams you want for your life can become a reality, if you break through those walls of resistance and make it happen for yourself!

Are you facing any resistance right now trying to bring a big change into your life?

Registration for The Catalytst is on! Yippee!

The Catalyst Course, now open!

Doo-doodle-ooo! (that's a trumpet noise :)

We're officially opening up registration for The Catalyst today, wahoo!

You can read full details about the content and schedule on The Catalyst info page here, but for now, we'd like to actually speak to you, via a short little video about our course, and what we hope participants will take away from it.

(and by the way, this is me totally facing one of my fears right now- video blogging!!! ahh!)

The simple changes that I've been making in my life over the last year have left me feeling more calm and focused than I think I've ever felt. I am more grounded than ever. Happier than ever. My relationships feel richer and fuller than ever!

And I'm working just as hard as I ever did (how many jobs you got mon?) yet those feelings of stress, anxiety and unfullfillment that I was so riddled with before, now feel miles and miles away from here...

I am a lazy asshole, reformed! And believe me, if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!

We are so passionate about helping you make the changes you want to see in your life, too! And we've got the tools, strategies, experience and support you need to make it happen.

You in?

The antidote to fear? Trust in yourself

The only way I know to conquer a fear is to, quite unfortunately, face it head on.

Yes, I know you know that. And I know it's so much easier said than done. But I have been kind of terrified of many things in my life, many of which I have faced head-on and have seen how that takes the power right out of those fears.

And we all know that feeling after facing the things that scare us- it's invigorating! We feel surprised by ourselves! Proud! Grateful! Energized!

Yet the how part is incredibly hard. Just how are we supposed to muster the get-up-and-gusto to look our fears right in the face?

That's the opposite of what our minds want- they're saying, "What will they think of me? What if I fail? What if I can't handle it? Nooo, it's scary!"

But somewhere below our always havin' some sort of excuse, over-analyzing brains, lies our intuition.

You may feel it in your heart, you may feel it in the pit of your stomach, who knows, you may feel it in your feet! But the more we listen to the what-ifs in our heads, the further away we get from the heart-throbbing, belly-tingling intuition that KNOWS, you got this. You can do this. The place that knows what you're capable of, and what you really want for your life.

So the HOW part of facing your fears, for me, becomes:

STEP 1: Prepare. Do the research, do the practice, get organized, have all your ducks in a row. Know it, own it, be prepared to rock it because, there's a high likelihood that you will.

STEP 2: Envision it. Imagine yourself doing it, speaking it, creating it, facing that fear! Play the whole thing in your head how you hope it will go, from start to finish- just like an track athlete runs laps in his head before the race- envision yourself doing the thing that scares you and being a-ok.

STEP 3: Reconnect with your intuition. Once you're prepared, it's time to take a breath, get out of your head and back into your body where your intuition lies. Because if you can better connect with your intuition, you'll be your own encouragement, your own source of motivation, you'll be able to do the things that scare you because you trust yourself, you know you're going to be okay and you know you want this for your life, scary or not.

So when the fear starts to kick in and anxiety is rising- find your breath. Find some stillness. Connect with your deep down self. Find movement. Create! Dance! Sing out loud! Go outside!

The what-ifs are always going to be there, but if you can free yourself from them just for a moment to connect back to that place of knowing, of inner trust, of faith in yourself, you'll realize that no what-if is strong enough to hold you back from pursuing your dreams and facing whatever fears come up along the way.

"Ultimately, we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom."
    - Marilyn Ferguson

Trust yourself. You're braver than you think.

PS: if you'd like more support in facing your fears and other mean ol' mind gremlins, there's one week left in our special deal for The Catalyst course, before we open up registration to all- join our inner circle today & receive our special discount tomorrow!

A life with no regrets

This post by Bronnie Ware, about the regrets of people as they are dying, really stuck with me and pops into my head sometimes, perhaps when I need to remember it most. Bronnie worked in pallative care for many years and was with people during the last 3-12 weeks of their lives- she noticed some recurring themes in what people regretted most as they reflected back on their life.

Can you guess what the most common regret of all was?

From Bronnie's post on her Inspiration and Chai blog,

    I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

So many of us get stuck in what is comfortable, what we think we "should" do or what's best for everyone else around us- but you have to consider what's best for you, too.

What's the back of the mind dream that you find yourself longing to bring into reality? What do you wish you could change in your life? What do you feel passionate about? What is calling to your deepest, truest self? 

And what's stopping you from doing what you know you need to do to start turning those dreams into waking, breathing, real life?

Well, I have an idea. Maybe it's fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear of change, because it seems too big, because it seems too impossible, self-doubt, nagging perfectionism, feelings of guilt, laziness and procrastination, waiting for the "right time", feeling like you already "missed the boat", because you're too young, because you're too old, because of one circumstance after the other, because you can't "find the time".

I know all these feelings very well, because I go through the gamut of them each time I try something new, each time I make an effort to hone in on what really fulfills me the most. I could easily let my mind talk me out of making any changes.

But once I start to move, to act, to progress towards wherever my passion is driving me, I start to feel engaged. Enthused. Invigorated. My motivation, determination and will start to kick-in and I suddenly feel supported by my own mind in that, together, we're gonna make things happen!

And it's not because the fear, doubt, guilt and everything else went away, oh no. It's because in the MOVEMENT, the ACTION, the DOING of the things you know will bring you closer to your dreams, you can suddenly see those dreams as achievable, realistic, within reach.

Suddenly, YOU CAN DO THIS and no matter what the critical voice in your head has to say otherwise, YOU WILL.

Taking action gets you out of your head, out of your own way, and lights that little fire within your gut that will help keep you focused on your goals to take you where you want to go.

We all deserve to follow our passions and live a life with no regrets. A life true to ourselves, one that feels rich, whole and happy.

Think about your life right now- what is one unfulfilled dream that you'd later regret not acting on? And what's the FIRST STEP you can take to help bring that dream down into reality?

And if you'd like some support on getting moving towards your dreams, The Catalyst course might be just the spark you need!

*psst: course registration starts Feb.1, but we'll be sending out a special pre-registration offer to inner circle members this afternoon- get on the list to get first dibs and a good discount!*

The Catalyst Course- are you ready for change?

Remembering to breathe when you feel stressed out- that's one of the things that has made a huge, lasting change in my life over the last year or so, and is partly to thank for a big shift that happened inside myself.

I was having major issues with stress and anxiety and felt so off-balance and frazzle-brained for many years, without even really realizing it. I mean, I knew I felt unfilfilled way deep down inside, but I couldn't figure out what it would take for that feeling to go away, and didn't even necessarily think it was possible.

I got so used to living in a state of constant overwhelm, so used to having all these negative thoughts floating around in my brain, that it began to feel like that was just me. Just who I am and how I deal with things.

Luckily, I was wrong about that. Seriously wrong!

The Catalyst

Over the last year, and last 6 months especially, I've been able to shift my way of thinking so much that I feel like a whole new person. Like I was given another shot at this "life thang" but this time, armed with the tools I need to stay grounded, more focused and find a whole heckuva lot more to be happy about.

The catalyst for change, for me, was really just a realization that struck me deeply. I had an "aha" moment of sorts that made me see that all this stress, sadness, frazzledness and indirection was not me and not how I have to operate in this world.

I suddenly realized that I had been looking in all the wrong places to find the answer as to what would really fulfill me, when the whole time I had the power to find fulfillment within myself.

And so do you!

That's why Jen and I have dubbed our upcoming e-course, The Catalyst course! Staring this March, WE want to be the spur for change in YOU- the spark you need to create a real, lasting shift into a life that feels more fulfilling and whole.

We're going to share all the tools, new ways of thinking and support that we've been putting into real-world use to affect changes in our own lives. This is practical, realistic stuff that you too can incorporate into your life to reduce stress, clarify your goals and direction and help turn those pipe-dreams into a awesome reality.

Are you sitting on the edge of making a change? Waiting for a chance or opportunity to come your way? Dealing with a transition in your life or business that you could use some support with? Or just ready to feel stressed-less and a lot more happy?

We'll help you get there- we cannot wait to share all that we have planned with you!!! 

Check out full details on what The Catalyst course is all about, and if it sounds intriguing, be sure to sign up for our "inner circle" list- next week, we'll be sending out a special FIRST DIBS registration offer at a nice DISCOUNT, to newsletter subscibers only!

No resolutions, only happy

Instead of making resolutions we know we won't be able to keep that will leave us feeling guilty or bad about ourselves when we break them, Jen and I started thinking of the New Year as a chance to really reflect and refocus on the things we already have in our lives that make us truly happy.

Because if we can focus on the happy and find doses of goodness in each and every day, then we'll be setting up a foundation of gratitude to carry with us in everything that we do, including all the great big intentions we have for our great big futures.

But we're also realistic and know there will be days with failures, worries, bubbling insecurities. Days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed or have an interaction that leaves us grumbly. And when we get stuck in negative thought patterns on days like that, it can seem downright hard to think of anything that could make us happy, shift our attitude or pull us out of those funks.

So, we decided to make a list. A list of happy-making things in our lives.

The simple, everyday smile makers.

The surefire pick-me-ups and attitude-changers.

All the little things in life, that we can access at anytime, that make us feel elated, excited and at ease.

We wanted something tangible that we could use to help keep our perspective aimed towards positivity. I'm working on turning my scrawled list above into a painting so I can hang it on the wall and see it each and every day.

Then, on my best days, I can look at the list and see all that I have to be grateful for and really how easy it is to find happiness in everyday.

And, on my kinda crappy days, I can DO as many of those happy-making things as it takes to lift my spirits and help me see all that I have to be grateful for, and really how easy it is to find happiness in everyday.

See how that works? ;)

So, this year I'm just going to focus on my happy. And I have faith that in doing so, I'll get exactly where I want to go and enjoy the ride much more.

What are all the little things in life that make YOU happy? And how much happy do you let into each day? We encourage you to create your own happy-lists to hang up, or keep close, as a reminder of just how many things there are in life that allow you access to your joy. Fill each day with the things that fill you!

**I'll share my happy-list painting on our facebook page once it's done, and we'd LOVE to have you share some things from your list with us over on facebook too!**

The best gift you can give to yourself this year

Are YOU on your to-do list?

A friend and I used to get into discussions about how she put everyone else's needs before her own so consistently, that she seemed to always be the last person she ever considered. She's generous and selfless, two of her most admirable qualities, but she doesn't show herself the same love, care and support that she gives to others, day in and day out.

She doesn't want to feel selfish putting her needs before someone else's, but at the end of the day, she can find herself feeling weary, depleted with not much energy left to move towards her own aspirations or fulfill her own needs.

In fact, I think that describes a lot of us, actually. We are often the last thing listed at the end of an incomprehensibly long mental to-do list. Somewhere after "re-grout the tile on the bathroom floor" you might find "oh and, if there's time, take care of yourself, too."

But taking time out to take care of yourself and fulfill your own needs isn't selfish, it's necessary. When you do and give so much in your work, home and to the people in your life, taking time to show yourself some love, creating moments for yourself to reflect and relish in all the hard work you do- it's the way to refill that well of energy so you can keep on giving.

If you don't take time to "refill", so to speak, you may find yourself stressed out, irritable and maybe even resentful against some of your responsibilities and then subsequently guilty about feeling resentful...ugh! It's a big spiral that can suck you down and down until you find you never give time to yourself at all and then you start to feel neglected or burnt out.

The gift that keeps on giving

So, surrounded by all the traditions and rituals that have become so ingrained with the holiday season, Jen and I thought that maybe the best gift we can all give ourselves this year, is to create a self-care ritual.

Creating a self-care ritual is a way to connect with your deep down self, that non-judgemental center that reminds you of just how strong you really are. It's a way to find balance between the always giving, always helping and always doing for others by showing some appreciation to yourself, too. It's a way to give back to the incredible body and mind that carry you through this world and have made you the unique individual you are today.

A self-care ritual can be anything from setting up a date-night with yourself to taking a long hot bath, getting a massage, going for walks, writing in a journal, creating art, curling up with tea and a good book...

Whatever floats your peaced-out boat, whatever helps connect you back to yourself and pull you out of the trap of hectic life- we want you to make it a regular thing. A ritual that you can honor as sacred time just for yourself, and something you know you can come back to again and again whenever you need to fill that energy-well back up.

We want you all to give yourself the gift of time and space to reflect on your thoughts, your needs, your aspirations and what really makes you happy. The more often you can reflect on those things, the better able you'll be to shift your life in the direction you want to go. And the more often you let yourself slow down, the faster you'll be able to run when the marathon of life picks up.

My morning routinue has definitely become my own self-care ritual- I start each day by giving my body the energy it needs and my mind the clarity it needs with exercise and meditation. I can still feel the pull of obligation trying to blow out my incense and pick me up off my meditation chair in the mornings, but I remind myself that taking this time just for me each day helps give me more energy, enthusiasm and positivity to share with others throughout the day. My mornings help me feel calmer, more understanding, and more fulfilled, and that is better for everyone around me!

So really, you can think of taking time to take care of yourself not as an act of selfishness, but as a gift for your life and everyone in it. The more joy, calm and clarity you can cultivate in yourself, the more you'll have to give to others.

And then, instead of finding yourself in that burnt-out place, feeling like you have nothing left to give, you'll be able to keep drawing from that well of energy you're creating through self-care- and whether you need an eye-dropper full of strength to get you through the day, or a bucketful, it'll be there waiting for you.

Do you struggle with feeling selfish making your own needs a priority? What would your ideal "self-care ritual" look like, and what can you shift in your current schedule to make it a reality? Where can you create more time and space in your life to give back to yourself and explore what makes YOU happy?

If you need some ideas on how to create your own self-care ritual, that's exactly what Jen has over on her post today!

The proactive way to happy

Do you ever feel like life is carrying you along a path that you didn't necessarily choose, and you're just doing the best you can to keep up with all the twists and turns along the way?

Or maybe you feel like you don't have any real control over your time or what you do during the day, like everything is being directed by an outside person or situation or the tedium of day-to-day life?

Maybe you have big dreams and an idea of what you want your life to be, but you're waiting for an opportunity to present itself, waiting til you can "find the time" to put your ideas into action?

Being reactive = being pulled along by the currents of life

I've felt that way a few times in my life and it always feels so miserable and unfulfilling. Like you're the captain of a ship who instead of steering your way through the waves towards the destination of your choice, lets the currents sweep you up and direct you where they want to go. Sometimes, they guide you thru scenic places. Sometimes thru shallow water and monsoons and tidal waves. And during those storms, your only option is to figure out how not to let the boat tip, how not to drown. 

In essence, this is being reactive- when your behavior is determined by the actions of others, or by a situation. You are constantly reacting to things "happening to you", or things you "have to do" rather than being the initiator of what's going on in your life.

The opposite of this is being proactive- when you anticipate what the future will be and react before it happens, solving problems before they become a problem, creating the results you want instead of waiting for them to "happen" for you.

Making more proactive decisions = charting your own course

I've made proactive choices in a lot of areas of my life and have seen what a difference they can make in helping lower stress levels and create more fulfillment and happiness.

For example, there is heart disease, high blood pressure/cholesterol and diabetes in my family that I could easily inherit and then have to reactively deal with. But instead, I made the proactive choice 10 years ago to become a vegetarian, to be concious about eating more low cholesterol, heart healthy foods and be as healthy as I can be to hopefully stave those diseases off. Has it always been easy being vegetarian? Nope. Does it make me feel happier, healthier and less stressed out about the future? Yep!

In another example, I was working a perfectly good job at a great company surrounded by amazing co-workers, but I didn't feel creatively fulfilled- a deep down part of myself was not happy. So instead of "riding it out", waiting for a better position in the company or for some opportunity to come my way, I proactively started my blog, started a business and made my escape plan. Was it easy to quit and leave behind friends and health insurance and security? Nope. Do I feel happier and more fulfilled now than ever? Yep!

Charting your own course sure isn't easy, but easy isn't always best

I think we tend to keep ourselves in a reactive position because it's easier, in a way. If things are constantly "happening to us" it feels beyond our control and thus beyond our responsibility. It's easy to be a victim of circumstance, to whine and complain about how we're not happy because of this person or that thing or something in our past. It's easy to always have an excuse as to why we aren't living the life we wish we could be.

It's hard to steer yourself around those outside influences as you decide to go your own way. It's hard to make decisions that others might think are strange or crazy. It's hard to take responsibility for creating the life you want, but that's what being proactive is all about.

I don't think happiness and fulfillment come from living a life that's easy- they come from living a life that is your own. Being more proactive is about making the decision to consciously direct your life instead of allowing yourself to be pushed along by external currents.

Instead of seeing what happens, how can you make it happen? Instead of waiting for opportunity to present itself, how can you create an opportunity? What's one proactive decision you can make today to set yourself in motion toward your goals?

It's time to hoist the sails, chart your own course and set out towards the destination you want for your life!

Going with the Flow: Time Management the easy way

I've been self-employed for over 4 years and for the bulk of those years, I've been struggling with trying to figure out how to "manage" my time. Lose the boss and other people's expectations, throw in that you're now trying to live and work in the same space and it can be really hard!

Some days, it's hard to get stuff done. Other days, it's hard to pull yourself away from work and remember to eat. Some days, you wake up bursting with energy! Others, you wish you could call in sick and lay on the couch watching Netflix instant shows all day...

It's an ebb and flow. Everyday is different, yet we expect ourselves to adhere to these crazy schedules and plans and deadlines no matter how we're feeling. And then we get mad at ourselves, and start to doubt ourselves, when we can't seem to keep up. And we overwork ourselves to the point where we desperately need a break.

Uh-uh. Not a good way to run your own business.

Finally this year, I got tired of it. Tired of beating myself up over every unanswered email. Tired of being a mean boss to myself. Tired of trying out every productivity method in the book just to be able to get more work done. What about getting some life done?

I was tired of feeling like I didn't have any control over my own time, or room to have any fun. I mean, isn't that why we work for ourselves in the first place? To be able to choose how we spend our time?

So now, I choose to lose the rigidity of my schedule, and my own expectations, and allow more freedom in my days.

I've finally chosen to structure my worklife in a way that feels more intuitive and free and fun! And it has the added benefit of helping to make me a whole lot more productive too! Here's how I was able to make some changes in my schedule for the better:

Track your time
I tracked my time from wake up to bedtime everyday for a week- everything I did during the day, from pitching to emailing to making coffee to hugging the cat, I wrote it down, even if it was for only 5 minutes.

This sounds about as thrilling as a root canal, I realize. And tho it seems tedious as you're doing it, it can be one of the most eye-opening exercises you'll ever do. By the end of the week, you'll have a true sense of where your time goes each day, and that knowledge is invaluable. 

You'll get to see how much actual focused/in-the-flow kind of work you get done (probably less than you thought) and how much you might be procrastinating or getting distracted during the day (probably more than you thought). You'll see how much time you're spending on high-priority tasks that actually make you money, and how much time you're spending on lesser-priority tasks, like facebook. You'll also be able to see which times of day you have the most energy to put towards work, and which times of day you feel a little slumpy and unmotivated.

Plan around your energy levels
I know that I have the most energy in the morning, followed by a bigtime afternoon slump where I seem to get nothing done, and then I have another surge of energy later afternoon into the evening.

Only after tracking my time did I realize that a lot of my high-energy hours were being spent on lower-priority tasks like email, twitter, web-browsing, researching, etc. And then I'd hit my afternoon slump and still have all these high-priority to-dos ahead of me for the day, and I'd lose motivation and really struggle trying to get them done and stay focused.

So now, I work around my energy levels! I try to get to work on the highest-priority stuff right in the morning when I'm feeling fresh, and then, as I feel my energy start to dwindle thru the day, that's when I'll check email, go on twitter, or start on those lesser-priority work tasks. And in the evening, I usually have energy to work on the more high-priority stuff again.

Give into the slump
When my afternoon slump hits, I take a BIG break. It's like, the Cadillac of breaks- long, luxurious and totally un-plugged. I go outside with the dog, make myself lunch, eat while watching a favorite show or flipping thru a magazine. I get off the computer for a couple hours, remove myself from work-brain completely.

I know that when I used to try to work during that slump, or eat and work at the same time, I'd just end up doing a whole lot of time-wasting nothing and get stuck in that low-energy mode. So now, I give into the slump and use each afternoon to take a bona fide break, relax and re-focus.

Afterward, I feel so much more motivated and ready to get back to work on those high-priority tasks. I've found that I actually get way more important stuff done in the afternoons after taking a 2 hour break, than I used to not taking a break at all. Funny how that works...

Add a buffer day or two
For me, Monday mornings suck for getting any real work done, as do Friday afternoons. I have an "I wanna go play!" mentality coming out of, or heading into the weekend. So instead of fighting that urge, trying to force myself to work but not getting much done- now I use Monday and Friday as sort of buffer days to ease into and out of the week.

On Mondays, I don't even expect myself to work on those high-priority, money makin' tasks. Instead, I use that day to get back into my morning routinue, I prepare for the week, check in with clients, catch up on emails, etc. If I want to take a walk or do dishes or decide to re-arrange the art on my walls, I can do it without feeling guilty because I've given myself that free time to spend doing whatever I need to do to get ready for the week ahead.

On Fridays, I will use the mornings for high-priority stuff, but I try to make sure the afternoons are easy breezy- that's when I meet with friends, go run errands, paint, take pictures, write, relax.

Tuesday-Thursday are my super focused, hard-workin days. I try not to schedule in any other obligations so that I know I'll be able to really focus and get down to business. I get so much accomplished on those days now, more than I used to in an entire week! And if things come up and I don't get as much done as I'd like, I can use those buffer days to find more time.

I think true "time management", and figuring out how to be more productive, is really about discovering how your energy flows and using that to guide you in how to best use your time. You don't need to be the big mean boss-lady to yourself to stay in check- if you feel like you need a break, take one. If you feel excited to work, get the hardest stuff out of the way first while you have the energy. Be easier on yourself.

Make your schedule work for you, rather than working to keep up with your schedule. 

Do you ever get down on yourself for not being "productive" enough? Do you notice your energy levels during the day and how they affect your work? Do you take a break on even the busiest days to allow yourself to re-focus?